Memorial Day can be easy to misunderstand.

For many Americans, it signals the start of summer. A long weekend. Time with family. A break in the school calendar.

But Memorial Day was never meant to be comfortable.

It is a day set aside to remember the men and women who died in military service to their country. It began as Decoration Day after the Civil War and evolved into the nation’s foremost annual day of remembrance for the fallen.

For boarding schools, Memorial Day carries a particular kind of weight.

Because boarding schools have always been communities built on something deeper than shared classes or school spirit. They are places where young people learn responsibility, sacrifice, discipline, and what it means to belong to something larger than themselves.

And for generations, alumni have carried those lessons far beyond campus.

Some into courtrooms. Some into classrooms. Some into hospitals. Some into boardrooms.

And some into service.

Boarding Schools Have Always Been Communities Built on Duty

There is something unique about growing up in a boarding school community.

You learn quickly that your choices affect other people.

You learn:

• how to live with people different from you
• how to show up even when you are tired
• how to be accountable
• how to put the group ahead of yourself

These are not just school lessons.

They are life lessons.

And for some alumni, they became service lessons.

Not because boarding schools exist to prepare students for the military.

But because they often teach something foundational that service requires:

a sense of responsibility beyond yourself.

The Alumni Stories That Stay With Schools

Every boarding school has names that echo through its history.

Sometimes they are carved into plaques. Sometimes they are read aloud at ceremonies. Sometimes they are simply remembered quietly by generations that follow.

At Phillips Academy Andover, the Memorial Bell Tower has stood as both a landmark and a tribute for generations. Originally dedicated in honor of alumni who died in World War I, the tower has become a symbol of memory and continuity on campus. It reminds students that a school’s legacy is not only found in its traditions, but in the lives its graduates go on to lead.

At Phillips Exeter Academy, more than 700 alumni have served or are serving in the armed forces or in the military of their home country. Exeter Salutes honors not just military achievement, but sacrifice, duty, and the values that continue long after graduation.

At Milton Hershey School, alumni like Harold Ashenfelder, a World War II veteran and Olympic gold medalist, reflect how schools can shape resilience, service, and character in ways that endure far beyond childhood. His story is not only one of military service, but of perseverance and quiet strength.

These schools are not unique because they have alumni who served.

They are meaningful because they choose to remember.

Memorial Day Should Make Schools Ask Better Questions

Memorial Day is not only about honoring those who gave their lives.

It is also about asking ourselves what kind of communities we are building now.

For boarding schools, that question matters.

What values are we actually teaching when no one is watching?

Are we building:

• resilience?
• responsibility?
• humility?
• service?
• empathy?

Or are we only focused on achievement?

Boarding schools often talk about preparing students for college and life.

Memorial Day reminds us that “life” is bigger than outcomes.

It is about character.

It is about how people carry themselves when things are hard.

It is about whether students understand that being part of a community means something.

The Adults and Traditions That Shape This

One of the most powerful things boarding schools can do is teach students that community is not transactional.

It is relational.

Students learn that:

• showing up matters
• rituals matter
• shared spaces matter
• traditions matter

The late-night check-in from a dorm parent.

The coach who expects more because they care.

The teacher who asks the hard question.

The school tradition that reminds students they are part of something older and bigger than themselves.

These things may feel small at the time.

They are not.

They are often the moments that become the foundation of who students become later.

What Memorial Day Can Still Teach Schools

Memorial Day should not just be a pause in the calendar.

It should be a mirror.

A reminder that schools are not simply institutions delivering curriculum.

They are communities shaping people.

The alumni we remember this weekend were once:

• nervous new students
• homesick boarders
• teenagers trying to figure themselves out

Just like the students in dorms today.

The difference is not that they were extraordinary from the start.

The difference is that somewhere along the way, they learned what it meant to belong to something larger than themselves.

That is one of the quiet gifts boarding schools can still offer.

Not just success.

Not just preparation.

Perspective.

Final Thought

Memorial Day asks us to slow down.

To remember that the freedoms, routines, and ordinary moments we often take for granted came at a cost.

For boarding schools, it is also a reminder that the work schools do every day matters in ways they may never fully see.

Because somewhere in today’s dorm rooms, classrooms, and student centers are future alumni who will one day carry the lessons of community, duty, and service into a world that needs them.

The question is not just what schools are teaching.

It is what schools are helping students become.

References

National Cemetery Administration. (n.d.). Memorial Day history. U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs. https://www.cem.va.gov/history/Memorial-Day-history.asp

Phillips Academy. (2018, October 26). Carillon on campus: Inside the history of Bell Tower. The Phillipian. https://phillipian.net/2018/10/26/carillon-campus-inside-history-bell-tower/

Phillips Exeter Academy. (n.d.). Exeter Salutes. https://exeter.edu/alumni/exeter-salutes/

Milton Hershey School. (n.d.). Harold Ashenfelder: Olympic champion, veteran, and Milton Hershey School alumnus. https://www.mhskids.org/blog/milton-hershey-school-harold-ashenfelder/