It’s been about 10 years to the day since my amazing mother, father, and stepdad first mentioned they were looking at boarding schools for my junior and senior years. I didn’t know much about the idea of living away from home for the first time, let alone a new school, new people, and a completely different lifestyle. But looking back now, I realize just how much more it was than I expected, boarding school wasn’t just a place to finish high school. It became a place where I learned to thrive academically, socially, and personally. What started as a new chapter I wasn’t fully sure about turned into one of the most enriching and formative experiences of my life.

For students considering boarding school, it’s not uncommon to have doubts or fears. Many students expect the experience to be all about surviving until graduation. But for me, boarding school was far more than that, it was about learning how to thrive, and that’s an experience I encourage every new student to embrace.

1. Embrace the Independence, Don’t Shy Away from It

When I first arrived at Brehm Preparatory School, I was nervous about living away from home. But what surprised me most was how quickly I adjusted. The structure of boarding school forced me to become more independent. At first, it felt like a breath of fresh air to go explore the town on weekends, stepping out from the school grounds and seeing what life had to offer beyond the campus. There’s something uniquely liberating about getting to know a new place and its people. From managing my own schedule to navigating social dynamics, boarding school pushed me to step up and take responsibility for my life. While this may seem intimidating at first, it turned out to be the most valuable part of the experience. In fact, studies show that students at boarding schools tend to develop stronger leadership and time management skills than their peers at day schools (National Association of Independent Schools).

2. Your Relationships With Faculty and Staff Matter More Than You Think

At first, I assumed that my relationship with faculty would be limited to classroom interactions. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Boarding school isn’t just about academics, it’s about building lasting relationships with mentors who care about your success. I’ll never forget Gary Featheringham, my literature teacher, who was like my real-life John Keating from Dead Poet’s Society. He inspired me to think outside the box and challenged me to see literature through new eyes. I also want to thank Barbie Drew, my speech teacher, who always had the best music playing in class and was there with coffee first thing in the morning, making our one-on-one sessions feel like a special start to the day. And then there’s Paul Kosuth, my math teacher, who, despite my early doubts, showed me that I was halfway decent at math when he easily could have just failed me. Thanks to their support, I grew not just as a student, but as a person. According to the Association of Boarding Schools (TABS), students who form strong relationships with teachers are more likely to succeed in both their personal lives and academic endeavors (TABS).

3. Dive Into Extracurriculars: You’ll Be Surprised What You Discover

Boarding school provides a unique opportunity to explore a wide range of activities, many of which are unavailable at traditional schools. I was an athlete, but not an outdoorsman when I first started, but I soon discovered how much I enjoyed sports just as much as the outdoor activities, which became an integral part of my life at school. I became a three-sport varsity athlete: soccer (which I only played to get in shape for basketball season), basketball (where I was co-captain during my junior and senior years), and golf (which I captained during both my junior and senior years). Outside of sports, I also got involved in student leadership, serving as the Vice President of FBLA, Dorm President my junior year, and 2x Student Body President during my junior and senior years. These experiences shaped my leadership skills and taught me how to balance my academic and extracurricular commitments. According to Phillips Exeter Academy, students involved in extracurriculars have higher levels of academic success and emotional well-being (Phillips Exeter).

4. The Social Aspect: Your Dorm Becomes Your Home

One of the most surprising things about my boarding school experience was the strong sense of community. It didn’t take long for my dorm to become my home. I was lucky to live with an amazing group of friends. Grady, Bales, August, Sockrider, Kaleta, Seabass, and Yedidia. Our late-night poker games, 2K tournaments, and other memories (some of which I can’t share to avoid incriminating myself) helped forge friendships that still last today. Living with peers from around the world gave me exposure to diverse perspectives and cultures. This was a huge growth opportunity, as I learned to appreciate different viewpoints and fostered lifelong friendships. Schools like Choate Rosemary Hall emphasize the importance of social connections as a key part of the educational experience. Boarding school life is a great opportunity to grow socially in a close-knit environment, and those friendships often extend beyond graduation (Choate).

5. Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help

I’ll be the first to admit that it wasn’t always easy. There were moments I felt overwhelmed, particularly when balancing academics, social life, and adjusting to a new environment. However, one of the most important lessons I learned was to ask for help when needed. Boarding schools are designed with robust support systems to ensure students succeed. For me, that meant the Kellogg Group, a weekly gathering of all-male leaders on campus where we’d hang out and talk about our weeks. This group, along with the support of my dorm parents, Kenya and Jermaine, helped me navigate the ups and downs of boarding school life. Having a strong support network is key to thriving. According to research from the American Psychological Association (APA), students who reach out for support when they’re struggling perform better both academically and emotionally (APA).

6. New Opportunities: Boarding School Showed Me My Career Path

The biggest surprise for me was how much boarding school taught me about resilience. Whether it was adjusting to a new school, navigating a challenging class, or learning to live away from home, each experience helped me grow. Boarding school provided opportunities I hadn’t even thought of, and it ultimately helped me realize what I wanted to do career-wise. It’s why I now run Beyond the Bell Consulting. It was at Brehm that I realized I wanted to work with schools, students, and educational systems to ensure others could thrive just as I did. Special thanks to Dr. Collins, the best head of school, who created an environment where I could flourish and find my true calling.

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Conclusion: Thriving is Possible, and it’s More Than Just Surviving

Looking back, I realize that my time at boarding school was about so much more than just surviving high school. It was about thriving academically, socially, and personally. Boarding school may seem daunting at first, but the skills, relationships, and lessons I gained were invaluable and have shaped the person I am today. It’s not just about making it through each day, it’s about embracing every opportunity to grow, learn, and make meaningful connections. For anyone starting their journey at boarding school, remember: you have the power to thrive! 🙂

📩 Want to learn more about making the most of your time at boarding school? Reach out to us at inquiries@beyondthebellblogandconsulting.com.

Sources:

• National Association of Independent Schools (NAIS). “The Importance of Extracurriculars in Independent Schools.” NAIS.
• The Association of Boarding Schools (TABS). “Why Boarding Schools Offer More Than Just an Education.” TABS.
• Phillips Exeter Academy. “The Exeter Experience.” Phillips Exeter.
• American Psychological Association (APA). “The Importance of Social Connections for Student Success.” APA.
• Choate Rosemary Hall. “Student Life and Wellbeing at Choate.” Choate.